A Blond Goes To Heaven

Lets share your funnies and have a laugh!

Keep them clean - remember we have young users on the forums!

Moderator: Forum Moderators

Post Reply
playpen
Senior User
Senior User
Posts: 538
Joined: 10 Aug 2007, 02:05
Location: Wigan

A Blond Goes To Heaven

Post by playpen »

A Blonde goes to Heaven.
Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.
'I'm sorry, 'St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'

'That's cool' said the Blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'

'Just three questions' said St Peter.

'Which are?' asked the Blonde.

'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?
The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year'?

The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'

So the Blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).

The following morning, St Peter called upon the Blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'

'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'

The Blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'

St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'
The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'
'Only twelve' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'
'Easy,' said the Blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at the Blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'
'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'
'It's Andy.'
'Andy??'
'Yes, Andy,' said the Blonde.
This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'

'Easy' said the Blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled.'

And the Blonde entered Heaven...?

... you're singing it now, aren't you…??
HAVE HOPE FOR THE FUTURE
User avatar
Willow
Senior User
Senior User
Posts: 3025
Joined: 07 Aug 2011, 21:32
Location: Summerseat, Lancs

Re: A Blond Goes To Heaven

Post by Willow »

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Very clever! Wish I was blond :1968: :1968:
Joanna & Toby xx
Willow, my labrador soulmate, my one in a million..
Jan 2003 - May 2011

Image
twig28
Senior User
Senior User
Posts: 306
Joined: 02 Jul 2012, 14:50
Location: South Cumbria
Contact:

Re: A Blond Goes To Heaven

Post by twig28 »

:rofl: :rofl:
Amy, Steve
Tilly, Meisha, Pip, Coco and Mazy
Miss our old girl everyday. RIP darling Katy.
Image
User avatar
Makky
Senior User
Senior User
Posts: 858
Joined: 12 May 2012, 13:04
Location: Leigh

Re: A Blond Goes To Heaven

Post by Makky »

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: (andy still singing it) :1967:
Bill Sandra & Rosie xx

Elwood 2000-2011
Sam 1988-2000

For ever in our hearts
User avatar
rhoda4
Senior User
Senior User
Posts: 1383
Joined: 28 Jul 2009, 12:05
Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire

Re: A Blond Goes To Heaven

Post by rhoda4 »

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Ann, Paul & Zac x
“He took my heart and ran with it, and I hope he’s running still, fast and strong, a piece of my heart bound up with his forever.” – Patricia McConnell
12_paws
Senior User
Senior User
Posts: 2658
Joined: 05 Jan 2012, 23:18
Location: Leicestershire

Re: A Blond Goes To Heaven

Post by 12_paws »

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Des x

Desley and Finn
Harley & Diesel, safe in my heart
User avatar
Simbasmum
Senior User
Senior User
Posts: 345
Joined: 11 Feb 2012, 12:09
Location: NB Gracie, Macclesfield Canal, Cheshire
Contact:

Re: A Blond Goes To Heaven

Post by Simbasmum »

I am blonde and I don't have that logic (unfortunately!)
When one door closes another door ALWAYS opens- and we may never know what the grand plan is, but believe me, the universe will give you everything you deserve if you just have faith. Karma is a beautiful thing.
Diesel Kate
Senior User
Senior User
Posts: 2803
Joined: 31 Aug 2007, 10:09
Location: Cheshire

Re: A Blond Goes To Heaven

Post by Diesel Kate »

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Kath, Toby (Balee and Megan - Never out of my thoughts :love2: )
Post Reply