ATM
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- Senior User
- Posts: 586
- Joined: 19 Aug 2008, 22:19
ATM
MALE V FEMALE AT THE ATM
A new sign in the Bank reads:
'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1... Drive up to the ATM
2. LOWER your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Raise window.
7. Drive off..
*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to ATM machine.
2. Reverse and back up the
required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all
contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN ...
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to
locate purse and place cash
inside.
17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to ATM
machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and drive off.
25. Redial person on mobile
phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Hand Brake.
_________________________
Don,t blame me ladys for being sexist this was sent to me by a person off this site she does not want to be identified...
A new sign in the Bank reads:
'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1... Drive up to the ATM
2. LOWER your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Raise window.
7. Drive off..
*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to ATM machine.
2. Reverse and back up the
required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all
contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN ...
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to
locate purse and place cash
inside.
17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to ATM
machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and drive off.
25. Redial person on mobile
phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Hand Brake.
_________________________
Don,t blame me ladys for being sexist this was sent to me by a person off this site she does not want to be identified...
- mollymunch
- Senior User
- Posts: 1426
- Joined: 04 Jan 2007, 17:34
- Location: Stockport, Cheshire
Re: ATM
Alison x
- Lindsay2011
- Senior User
- Posts: 387
- Joined: 30 Sep 2011, 22:29
- Location: Near Stockport
Re: ATM
Love it!
-
- Senior User
- Posts: 538
- Joined: 10 Aug 2007, 02:05
- Location: Wigan
Re: ATM
We have the same plot at the local Asda diy drive thro petrol station.
The pumps have a built in ATM to pay for your fuel.
Sometimes the Ladies park and then find the filler cap is on the wrong side and then proceed to do a 3 point (or more) turn ,causing fear in the rest of us.
HAVE HOPE FOR THE FUTURE
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- Senior User
- Posts: 387
- Joined: 05 Jul 2012, 21:38
- Location: West Yorkshire
-
- Senior User
- Posts: 2803
- Joined: 31 Aug 2007, 10:09
- Location: Cheshire
Re: ATM
My thoughts as well Joanne.
Glad you confessed Linda.. before I pointed the finger
Kath, Toby (Balee and Megan - Never out of my thoughts )
- Maggies Dad
- Senior User
- Posts: 343
- Joined: 04 Jul 2010, 17:24
- Location: Morecambe Lancs
- Contact:
Re: ATM
Brian. ( Max and Jess's Dad )
Maggie, Woof and Bryn, Together Forever
Dogs are not our whole life,
but they make our lives whole.
Maggie, Woof and Bryn, Together Forever
Dogs are not our whole life,
but they make our lives whole.
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- Senior User
- Posts: 4999
- Joined: 01 Nov 2008, 19:38
Re: ATM
I'm getting a complex now, as well as a reputation it seems.Diesel Kate wrote:My thoughts as well Joanne.
Glad you confessed Linda.. before I pointed the finger
Lins, Molly and Scooby
A house isn't a home without at least one Labrador
A house isn't a home without at least one Labrador