One for Gary ;)
Posted: 19 Feb 2016, 11:44
The couple had been happily married for 50 years. Following the death of his wife, the husband contacted the newspaper regarding an obituary.
When informed of the cost, the man uttered, in true Yorkshire fashion: “How much? !!!”
He reluctantly produced his wallet. “I want summat simple” he explained, “my Gladys was a good-hearted, hard-working Yorkshire lass but she wunt ave wanted owt swanky.”
“Perhaps a small poem”, suggested the woman at the desk.
“Nay”, he said, “she wunt 'ave wanted anything la-di-da, just put: 'GLADYS BRAITHWAITE DIED'."
“You need to say when”, he was told by the receptionist.
“Do I? Well, put died 17th Jan 2016. That'll do”.
“It is usual for the bereaved to add some meaningful phrase about the dearly departed”.
The man considered for a moment. “Well, put in, ‘Sadly missed’. That'll do”, he said.
“You can have another four words”, the woman explained.
“No, no”, he cried, “she wunt 'ave wanted me to splash out”
“The words are included in the price”, the woman informed him.
“Are they? You mean I've paid for 'em?”.
“Yes, indeed”.
“Well, if I've paid for 'em , I'm 'avin them”.
The obituary was duly printed as follows:
Gladys Braithwaite died, 17th January 2016. Sadly missed. Also Tractor for sale.
When informed of the cost, the man uttered, in true Yorkshire fashion: “How much? !!!”
He reluctantly produced his wallet. “I want summat simple” he explained, “my Gladys was a good-hearted, hard-working Yorkshire lass but she wunt ave wanted owt swanky.”
“Perhaps a small poem”, suggested the woman at the desk.
“Nay”, he said, “she wunt 'ave wanted anything la-di-da, just put: 'GLADYS BRAITHWAITE DIED'."
“You need to say when”, he was told by the receptionist.
“Do I? Well, put died 17th Jan 2016. That'll do”.
“It is usual for the bereaved to add some meaningful phrase about the dearly departed”.
The man considered for a moment. “Well, put in, ‘Sadly missed’. That'll do”, he said.
“You can have another four words”, the woman explained.
“No, no”, he cried, “she wunt 'ave wanted me to splash out”
“The words are included in the price”, the woman informed him.
“Are they? You mean I've paid for 'em?”.
“Yes, indeed”.
“Well, if I've paid for 'em , I'm 'avin them”.
The obituary was duly printed as follows:
Gladys Braithwaite died, 17th January 2016. Sadly missed. Also Tractor for sale.