Mervyn - an update

[Labs-R-Lovely]

Hi Everyone,

Sorry it's been such a long time since I posted anything about Mervyn.

Hard to believe he's been with me for over 8 months now. It feels like he's been here forever.

I have to tell you he has quite a number of issues, the most significant being fear aggression. my vets say he is also VERY protective of me. I'm seeking some help with his behaviours, as he gets very stressed when we meet other dogs on our walks.

He reacted badly to the vet nurse when he went for his healthy pet checkup in October - barked at her and went all glassy eyed!!!!!

I was so surprised because he's usually fine with women and had no issues with the carers who were coming to the house for my Mum. In fact, he absolutely loved most of them

I had already decided to discuss his needs and difficulties with the vet, so no problem there. We've been referred to Sarah Heath practice ( just need to fill in the questionnaire). I know her name has been mentioned on the site too. She has a superb reputation, so I feel good about that - just want my boy to feel confident and relaxed when he meets other dogs and of course for me to feel less stressed too. Strange thing is, on one of our walks, we often see bull mastiffs and he's not too bad with them - especially the bitches.

We now have a 'NERVOUS' lead as well, so that's useful in giving others advance warning.

Sadly, my Mum 's health continues to deteriorate and she spent 10 and a half weeks in hospital from the middle of August' starting with a chest infection, then a stroke at the beginning of September, plus the Alzheimers/dementia has galloped. The medics decided that her needs were to complex for her to return home (I must admit, it was a big relief for me as I was becoming exhausted, though a great sadness). She has been in a nursing home since 26th October.

All these goings-on have meant changes for Mervyn, as we've been fitting walks around hospital visiting - although the hospital is only 12 miles away, it was a 2-hour round trip. The nursing home is only 10 minutes drive on a good day, so much easier and at least I can visit when I like - just trying not to feel guilty and not to visit every single day (My brother and I see her most days, but not at the same time, so we both have days off)

I can now give Mervyn much more time, with several walks a day, some running free in the fields at the back of the house and lots of stimulation all the time.

He doesn't know how to play and that makes me sad, so lots of attention - help, he's now trying to distract me from the computer!!!!!!!!

Sadly, he's lost the very tip of his tail through too much enthusiastic wagging and the fact that he's probably been a tail chaser and chewer. We had a time when he was literally wagging and spraying blood around - fortunately, all seems to be healing and with extra vigilance, the hair is beginning to regrow.

BUT, I WOULDN'T BE WITHOUT HIM - HE'S MY BLOND BOMBSHELL

I've got lots of photos and will post when I can - some amusing ones too.

Lots of love and very sloppy licks from Mervyn and of course love from me to you all, especially all of you who have been having hard times with your special boys and girls

Mervyn & Sue (not forgetting Barney- my special boy, never far from my mind)

[JoanG]

Hi Mervyn and Sue, it sounds as if you've had a very difficult time lately and I do hope your mum is settled in the care home. I went through this with both my mum and my mother-in-law and know exactly what you mean about relief and guilt. My sister and I did the same as you, we visited my mum on alternative days she didn't have dementia but needed 24 hr care and enjoyed our visits and we weren't exhausted so we enjoyed it too. My mother in law had dementia and didn't remember that my husband and I had visited any way but we went regularly to make sure she was well cared for. We did feel guilty that we couldn't continue to provide the care ourselves but my sister became very ill through exhaustion and I still had young children to look after.

I hope your referral with Mervyn works out well and he becomes more confident and less protective of you, he could be trying to protect you from the dogs he meets on your walks, it sounds like he needs to know you have these meetings under your control as pack leader and he doesn't need to be on look out. It took my niece's rescue gun dog lab a whole year to learn to play but he did and had a very happy life.

Thanks for your good wishes for George too.

[Joe + Hilary]

It was good to read about Mervyn, I had thought about you a few times and wondered how things were going. I'm sorry you have a few issues with him but hope you can sort it with help from the person you have been referred to. I used to call my Boogie my "blond bombshell" sometimes so that made me smile that you call Mervyn that.

I was sorry to read about your Mum but hope she is settled in the nursing home. It is sad but you may have made yourself ill with overwork and stress if things had not worked out this way.

Hope you have a more settled time now.

Hilary, Rowley & Douma

[P_P]

Hi sue
We had the same problem with our poppy with nervous aggression with other dogs
We had a 'dog whisperer' come out to see us and he said part of the problem was that poppy felt I couldn't protect her from other dogs so she felt she had to protect me!
We are now working on this and I am managing to assert myself as pack leader by making small changes and sticking to them - over the last couple of weeks we have seen a big improvement - it just takes time and patience but I'm sure you and Mervyn will be just fine!
Love to mum and you both
Love Gill Parker and Poppy x

[Liz5353]

Hi Sue and Mervyn
It was lovely to hear from you and you have had a difficult time with one thing and another, pleased to hear that mum is settling in, I am sure it has been very stressful for you.
I am sure in time Mervyn will do really well with all your help, we have found in most cases and even with an easy dog that it takes about a year for them to be settled and into the routine
Lots of luck
Love Liz Shelly Bonnie Molly n Polly

[Glenys]

Sorry to hear of this and am slow catching up at the mo I really hope things improve for you and Mervyn xx