A Mortal Tale
Posted: 18 Jun 2008, 20:19
In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli,cauliflower and spinich,with green,yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so man and women would live long and healthy lives.
Then using Gods bountiful gifts,Satan created Dairy Icecream and Magnums,And Satan said "you want hot fudge with that"? And man said "yes"! And women said "i'll have one too with chocolate chip".And they gained 10pounds.
And God created the healthy yoghurt that women might keep her figure and man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them.And women went from size 12 to size 14.
So God said "Try my fresh green salad".And Satan presented blue cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side.And man and women unfastened there belts following there repast.
God then said "i have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them".
And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut prawns,butter dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steaks,so big it needed its own platter,and mans cholesterol went through the roof.
Then God brought forth the patato,naturaly low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.
Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips,and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt.And man put on more pounds.God then brought forth running shoes so that his children might loose those extra pounds.
And Satan came forth with tv with remote controls so man would not have to toil changing the channels.And man and woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretched joggin suits.
Then God gave lean beef so that man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created Mcdonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger.Then Satan said "You want fries with that"? And man and women went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
And then,,,,,,,,,,,,Satan chuckled and created the national health service.
THE FINAL WORD OF NUTRITION
After an exhaustive review of the research literature,heres the final word on nutrition and health.
1,Japanese eat very little fat and suffer few heart attacks than us.
2,Mexicans eat alot of fat and suffer few heart attacks than us.
3,Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer few heart attacks than us.
4,Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer few heart attacks than us.
5,Germans drink beerand eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
6,The French eat foie-gras ,full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer few heart attacks than us.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like.
SPEAKING ENGLISH IS APPARENTLY WHAT KILLS YOU!!!!
Then using Gods bountiful gifts,Satan created Dairy Icecream and Magnums,And Satan said "you want hot fudge with that"? And man said "yes"! And women said "i'll have one too with chocolate chip".And they gained 10pounds.
And God created the healthy yoghurt that women might keep her figure and man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them.And women went from size 12 to size 14.
So God said "Try my fresh green salad".And Satan presented blue cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side.And man and women unfastened there belts following there repast.
God then said "i have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them".
And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut prawns,butter dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steaks,so big it needed its own platter,and mans cholesterol went through the roof.
Then God brought forth the patato,naturaly low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.
Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips,and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt.And man put on more pounds.God then brought forth running shoes so that his children might loose those extra pounds.
And Satan came forth with tv with remote controls so man would not have to toil changing the channels.And man and woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretched joggin suits.
Then God gave lean beef so that man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created Mcdonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger.Then Satan said "You want fries with that"? And man and women went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
And then,,,,,,,,,,,,Satan chuckled and created the national health service.
THE FINAL WORD OF NUTRITION
After an exhaustive review of the research literature,heres the final word on nutrition and health.
1,Japanese eat very little fat and suffer few heart attacks than us.
2,Mexicans eat alot of fat and suffer few heart attacks than us.
3,Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer few heart attacks than us.
4,Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer few heart attacks than us.
5,Germans drink beerand eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
6,The French eat foie-gras ,full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer few heart attacks than us.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like.
SPEAKING ENGLISH IS APPARENTLY WHAT KILLS YOU!!!!
